Love Is Not Dead!

love-is-a-choice

Love Is Not Dead !

The internet is buzzing with the break-up of Angelie Jolie and Brad Pitt, and suddenly, everybody is a relationship expert as to whom is at fault. Many are crying out on social media that, “Love is dead.” Since when love is based on a Hollywood romance where these movie stars change their partners faster than the average person changes their cell phones?

Love is not dead, it is just clouded by a culture that defines love as a feeling. Love is not a feeling, it is a choice. It is a choice that married couples in good marriages have to make everyday to stay committed to each other and their marriages. So many couples start out so madly in love and then suddenly they can’t stand the sight of each other. How did these couples go from love to such hatred and bitterness? About half of all marriages in the USA end in divorces, and many of our millennials are choosing to shack-up, instead of getting married.

Children are the ones who suffer the most, and many children are affected even into their adulthood. •  Judith Wallerstein did a study and found that the negative impact of family breakup continues well into adulthood. Chip Ingram, Love, Sex and Lasting Relationships explained it best,

“I don’t know if I believe in marriage. I get close to someone, then the same thing happens. I’m scared to death to make a commitment. I don’t know how marriage is supposed to work, but I know I grew up in a family where it didn’t. The models that I had didn’t work, and I’ve got mixed feelings about Mom and Dad. I was two days with one parent and two weeks with the other; summers in one house and school years in another. They kept asking me to choose who I wanted to stay with. Why couldn’t they choose to stay together?”

Married couples have to choose to stay in love. “Low-conflict marriages that end in divorce are very damaging to children, according to Dr. Paul Amato, a sociologist at Penn State University, because “the surprised children have not been aware of the discord. About 55 percent to 60 percent of divorces occur in low-conflict marriages.”

These low-conflict marriages could have been saved, and if there is no abuse, or drugs or alcohol involved, couples should try to save their marriages for they are damaging the most vulnerable of all, their children, and many couples regret getting a divorce. Researchers in England found that 54 per cent of divorcees had second thoughts about whether they had made the right decision, with many  missing or still loving their ex-partner. Here is what a divorced dad wrote.

“I would wish to comment on the letter that ran Jan. 2 concerning the weakening of men and children through divorce. Anne Smart-Pearce was the author.

To my great sorrow, I must admit I am a divorced husband and father. Anne speaks of the terrible price that is being paid and then asks, ‘If a mother had an equal fear of losing her children, would she so readily seek a divorce? Or would she do all in her power to avert such a tragic outcome?’

Might I add this, husbands and wives, if there is even one-half of an ounce of friendliness left in your marriage, take each other by the hand, look at each other’s eyes and then remember of the love that brought you together in the first place! Let each other know, somehow, that you are needed, loved and wanted! If you fail, you will reap the whirlwind, especially you, fathers. You will lose all that is important, near and dear to you. And that is your sweet wife, your wonderful children and your home. Oh, that I had been more wise and not let my pride be my downfall. I can tell you with knowledge that a seemingly endless tragedy does await! The mornings do come when you awake, call her name and then realize that you are alone in a house that is ever silent and does not answer back.” (Guy M. Bradley, West Point, Utah, Deseret New)

Couples have to work everyday to stay in love and to choose to love each other. But how can they when our society encourages divorce as the answer? Below are three ways for couples to choose to love:

Choose To Have Date Nights.

Couples need to rekindle their romance by having regular date nights, and it needs to be consistent. Once a week is good, but if that is not possible , once a month is a must. It could be dinner and a movie, or a picnic in the park, or a night out dancing, or taking an art class together, or a walk on the beach. Put it down on your calendar, I Phone, or I Pad, and keep these dates. If you don’t have anyone to babysit the kids, put them to bed early and have a candle light dinner at home. Date nights help you to reconnect with the person that you fell in love with, and keep the spark in your relationships.

Choose To Show Your Appreciation Daily.

So many couples take each other for granted, and see only the negative. Compliments are easy to give, and we should give three or more of these daily to our spouses. Maybe she is a great cook, tell her how much you appreciate her effort in making all those delicious meals. He is a great provider, thank him for taking such great care of you and the children. He has beautiful eyes, let him know that you love his brown eyes. She has an infectious laugh, let her know how much you love hearing her laugh.

Choose To Put Your Spouse First.

Your children, your jobs, your families, your friends, your I-phones or tablets, or social media should not come first before your beloved. You need to have your priorities right, and put your spouses as your number one in your lives. Find time for each other, and don’t let anyone or anything get between the two of you. Some men go home after a hard day at work, and just spend hours relaxing in front of the TV. And some women are so fixated on their kids, that they don’t give their husbands five minutes of their time. Everyday, find at least 15 to 30 minutes for each other. Find out how was each other’s day, and how your spouse is feeling or thinking. Just like how you have to re-charge your I-Phones everyday or they are not going to work, you have to find time for each for your marriages to stay alive.

Love is a choice, not a feeling, and everyday couples have to make that choice to love each other. Let us know how you keep your love alive in your marriage in our comment sections.

AUTHOR:ROSSANA S MOHAMMED.

A Race Car Driver’s Legacy.

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“One of the gifts that Bryan gave us while we sat next to him praying for some good news, was the moment we found out he was an organ donor. It shouldn’t have surprised us. All of us have felt Bryan’s generosity throughout his life. The gift of life is the most amazing gesture and Bryan will live on not only through us and all the people he touched along the way, but from the lucky individuals that will benefit from Bryan making a decision to be a donor.”

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Racecar driver Bryan Clauson: COURTESY OF 44 NEWS

The Clauson’s 27-year-old son, Sprint race car driver, Bryan Clauson died on August 7th, 2016, from  injuries he had suffered in a  crash on the race tracks.

“We weren’t given any hope,” said Tim Clauson, his father.

Bryan was an organ donor. Sure this is what their son would have wanted, his family began a campaign called “Chasing 200” to honor Clauson, with the hope that 200 people would become organ donors. Bryan was scheduled to make history by racing 200 times in 2016. But then this tragedy would turn into a legacy of hope, as his organs saved five other people’s lives. As of date, about 5000 people have honored Bryan’s life by becoming organ donors, so about 25,000 people’s lives have been saved by Bryan’s Clauson’s celebration of life.

Bryan won many championships, but his untimely death has turned into an amazing celebration of life for many. Chasing 200 Campaign is one of the largest national organ donation campaigns ever.

Do you want to honor Bryan Clauson’s memory, register as an organ and tissue donor at RegisterMe.org/Campaign/BryanClauson.

Families411 salutes Bryan Clauson’s memory and his legacy.

What is your legacy, what do you plan on leaving for those left behind? Let us know in our comment section.

 

International Pardon Day

September 8th 1974, President Gerald Ford pardoned Richard M. Nixon of all wrongdoing related to the Watergate affair. So International Pardon Day is celebrated on September 8th, and you could use this day to let go of any grudge or resentment or anger against anyone who has hurt you. Forgiving your offender is not letting him or her off the hook, nor condoning this act, but rather it is setting you free.

– Steve Maraboli

What is known about forgiveness is that it is an act that brings happiness to those who give it, one can release the hold on the negative emotions they’re harboring in themselves, but they cannot release the associated guilt for the person who committed the act. As a result, forgiveness is for the one giving it, rather than the one who committed the transgression. Research has shown that those who have chosen to give up resentments live longer lives as a result to an improvement in their cardiovascular and nervous systems.

Three Ordinary People Who Did The Extraordinary Act: They Forgive Their Loved Ones Killers

 

Jessie Lewis
Jesse Lewis, six years old, along with 19 other children and six adults were massacred.

Jesse Lewis was killed in the 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School, CT shooting, a few hours after he had written, “I love you’ on his mom’s frosty car door as he left for school.  His mother was very angry at the shooter and his mother but then she chose to forgive. Scarlett Lewis told The Forgiveness Project, “Forgiveness felt like I was given a big pair of scissors to cut the tie and regain my personal power. It started with a choice and then became a process.”

  • Chris WIlliamsChristopher Williams, a LSD BIshop, and his family were going home one night from a basketball game on February 9th 2007, when a drunk teen smashed into their car and then ran away. His pregnant wife Michelle, 11-year-old son Ben, and nine-year-old daughter Anna were killed.
    Chris said, “Moments after the accident, as I knew my wife and children were gone, I heard a voice as plain as day that said, ‘Just let it go.’”Overcome with grief and guilt, Chris chose to forgive the offender and even pleaded with the court to try him as a juvenile instead of an adult. So the young man would only serve until he was 21 years instead of a 30-year sentence. Chris used his faith to forgive. The young man got a second chance from his victim, turned his life around, and when he got married a few years later, Chris Williams attended his wedding.Chris is now remarried as well and is a guest speaker who travels the United States, talking about the power of forgiveness. He wrote about his tragedy and it is now a new film “Just Let Go,” which is based on Chris’ remarkable story. The movie is in selected theaters now. It stars Henry Ian Cusick, Brenda Vaccaro and Sam Sorbo.
  • kathy & Bob Hutchinson

Kathy and Bob McIntosh had four year old twins: a boy and girl, and happily married with successful careers.Their lives would change on New Year’s Eve, Bob went to quiet down a rowdy party next door thrown by his neighbor’s teenage son. It would prove to be a fatal mistake as he was punched and kicked to death. The kids there that night were not talking and they formed “A Bond of Silence”. Kathy’s story was made into a movie on lifetime, Bond of Silence.

But Kathy decided to forgive the killer, and this what she says, “Whether victim or perpetrator, part of being human is rolling up our sleeves and taking an active part in repairing harm. My children had lost their father and I did not want them to lose me in the process. If I had been consumed by hatred, anger and vengeance, what kind of mother would I be? Something happened when Bob died and I found my voice. Forgiveness became an opportunity to create a new and hopeful beginning”.

Three people and their families who suffered senseless losses and should be consumed by hatred and anger, but all three of them chose to forgive. Hopefully most of us do not have to suffer as Scarlett, Kathy and Chris did, but we all have been hurt sometime in our lives. Whether it is a parent, sibling, spouse, in-law, friend, neighbor or co-worker, or stranger, today is the day that maybe we could forgive and let go of that hatred or anger or resentment.

Three Simple Ways To Forgive

Forgiveness is a choice.

We can choose to forgive our transgressors, and by doing so, we are doing ourselves a favor. So many victims have said that once they have decided to forgive the offender, it as if a toxic weight was lifted off their shoulder. We can get bogged down with hatred and anger, and our whole life becomes consumed with the offender and the act. When we do that we give the perpetrator control over our lives. When we are hurt by someone, we want them to suffer, or we want justice, or we want an apology. Until then we live in agony and resentment. We give our power away to the person who has hurt us. We can regain that power by choosing to forgive which sets us free and give us peace of mind.

Forgiveness is a process.

Forgiveness is a process and it does not happen overnight. We have to work through our feelings and this takes time and energy and for many does not come easily. We have to deal with the anger, fear, resentment, hatred and bitterness, and replace them with peace, kindness and tenderness.

Put your thoughts on paper.

We do not have to face our transgressors if we do not wish to, but we can write down our feelings on paper. Start writing how you feel and tell them how their action has affected you. describe your deepest emotions and thoughts about how your life has changed. Writing could become a healthy outlet for your anger as you can tell them everything you want to say. It could take an hour or a day or a week or months to finish that letter. The letter ends when you can write down, I forgive you. You don’t have to send it if you don’t want to. You could burn it and as it goes up in flame, release all the hurt and pain with it.

On International Pardon Day, we are reminded to forgive someone, and let go of the grudge or hatred or resentment. Free yourself from the toxicity of holding unto hurtful feelings and watch yourself soar as you let go. Remember  none of us is perfect, only God is. So pick up the phone, or send an email, or write that letter.

In our comment section, let us know how you forgive someone, and the feelings that you experienced when you let go.

 

 

 

Happiness Is Real Cheap.

AUTHOR:ROSSANA S MOHAMMED.

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The United States of America is the wealthiest country in the world, but yet many Americans are not happy. The World Happiness Report found that Americans showed “significant decreases” in happiness from 2013 to 2015, and the United States is ranked as the 13th happiest country in the 2016 poll. The report listed Denmark as the happiest country. Admit You’re Happy Day was first celebrated by The Secret Society of Happy People on August 8, 1999. Then in 2000, they celebrated happiness in the entire month of August, renaming it Happiness Happens Day and Month.

Today we can celebrate “Admit you’re happy today by some simple ways. Below are some pictures and quotes to help you to be happy.

 

friends

“Of all the means to insure happiness throughout the whole life, by far the most important is the acquisition of friends.”
Epicurus, A Guide To Happiness

  1.  Have a couple of  close friends.

    National surveys find that when someone has about 5 or more friends with whom they can talk about their problems, they are 60 percent more likely to say that they are ‘very happy’. Have a couple of close trusted friends to share your life with.

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Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.

2. Being grateful.

Two psychologists, Dr. Robert A. Emmons of the University of California, Davis, and Dr. Michael E. McCullough of the University of Miami, found in a study, who wrote about gratitude were more optimistic and felt better about their lives. They also exercised more and had fewer visits to doctors. So get out the grateful journal and start writing three things that you are thankful for. Do this on a daily basis, and start unlocking the fullness of life as Melody Beattie says below

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

 

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“Be happy for no reason, like a child. If you are happy for a reason, you’re in trouble, because that reason can be taken from you.”

Deepak Chopra

3. Happiness is a choice, not a feeling.

This is what “Ware, the author of The Top Five Regrets Of The Dying, said about happiness:

“Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again … Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.”

 

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We find delight in the beauty and happiness of children that makes the heart too big for the body.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

4. Be like kids and smile and be happy.

I have two grandkids both under 2 years, and you simply cannot be around them and be sad. It is such a joy to be infected with their happy smiles as laughter is natural for kids. They smile a lot more often than adults do. (up to 40 times a day more!) So reconnect with the inner child in you. Be around little kids and soak up their energy and delight.

HealthTap founder Ron Gutman says, “If you smile you’ll have better health, a better marriage and other relationships, and increased life expectancy.” So keep smiling.

So this year as we celebrate Admit you are Happy Day, how happy are we?

Find out with this Happiness Quiz: How Happy Are You? 

Please Embrace My Humanity!

 

“One of the most spiritual things you can do is embrace your humanity. Connect with those around you today. Say, “I love you”, “I’m sorry”, “I appreciate you”, “I’m proud of you”…whatever you’re feeling. Send random texts, write a cute note, embrace your truth and share it…cause a smile today for someone else…and give plenty of hugs.”
― Steve Maraboli

When we embrace our humanity, we connect to our families, friends, co-workers, and strangers. We connect to them when we show appreciation, love, respect, and acceptance. Let us celebrate this coming Friday, the last Friday in July as “Embrace Your Humanity Today”. To do so, let us all appreciate our family members, friends, co-workers, and all those we meet today. Greet them with a smile, hug or kiss: Send a text of appreciation; Be kind to a stranger; Reach out with kindness to a difficult co-worker, Befriend some-one whose skin or religion is different. Americans, can we have a Day to “Embrace our humanity, and connect with all the wonderful people in our lives, and the random strangers we will encounter today?

Our beautiful America: Land of the free and Home of the brave is in turmoil as we battle tension, hatred, and violence between our Police Officers and minorities. How about on Friday, instead of seeing the worse in each other, we appreciate each man, not by the color of his skin, but by embracing his humanity? Let us all give each other a second chance, or be open to understand our struggles and our differences. Today, let all Americans embrace their humanity, let us put aside the hatred and anger, and reach out with love to each other. Let us make Dr. Martin Luther King Jr proud.

Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars… Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.
America is being clouded by a darkness, and it is up to each American to be a light to drive out that darkness, or our country can become a night with no stars if we continue to go down this road. Look at our politicians and our leaders as they fight to get our votes: they rile up their voters with fear and darkness to hate the other side. It is all negative and character bashing, but instead of that negativity, can our politicians embrace their humanity, and treat everyone with respect and dignity.
So on Friday, July 29th 2016, I challenge all Americans to embrace their humanity, and show it to all their loved ones, near and far, and to everyone they come into contact with today. Use Social Media and electronics to share your appreciation of your loved ones. Reach out and connect with somebody who is different from you, and make a difference today.

Below Are Some Ways We Can Embrace Our Humanity.

Shower your spouses with appreciation.

It is truly sad to watch couples who constantly criticize one another, and only see each other’s faults. They have become complacent and just take each other for granted. Embrace your humanity today, and really connect to your loved ones. So, today, instead of barking out what is wrong, and what is not good. How about saying to your spouses:

Thank you very much for making my life so much easier.

I love having you on my team.

Honey, thank you for being my friend.

Love, you are an awesome provider, and a really hard worker, Thank you.

I love how you spend time with our kids, Thank you.

Sweetheart, the house looks beautiful, thank you for all the effort you put into it.

Babes, thank you for coming into my life, you give me so much happiness.

Remember, put it also on Social Media on  7/29/2016, and let the whole world know that you are “Embracing your humanity”.

Thank Your Parents.

Reach out to your parents and say, Mom, Dad, thank you for giving me life, and I appreciate all you do, or have done for me. Thank you for all the sacrifices you have made for me, I am very grateful for the life I now have because of you. Mom, Dad, I love you. Even if they are the worst parents, call and thank them for giving you life.

put a smile on your loved ones’ faces.

Reach out to your children, sisters, brothers, cousins, friends, in-laws and let them know what they mean to you. Tell them you are thankful for their support and love. We need to let our loved ones know that we recognize and appreciate their actions and love. Here are some suggestions:

Daughter or Son, I love your kindness, your talents, your dedication, your work ethics, your infectious laughter.

Brother, you always support me in everything I do,. Thank you for having my back.

Sis, I am sorry that I hurt your feelings when I did …..

Thank You. Cuz, you can always make me laugh, keep your humor going.

Mother-in-law, I am so thankful for you, and I am grateful to you for giving me an awesome spouse.

Coach, thank you for believing in me.

Teacher, thank you for making me try out for the debate team. I am now a successful lawyer.

Compliment a difficult co-worker

Look for something good about them, and say it in front of others. Maybe they are a computer expert, or full of knowledge, or they show up for work everyday. Sure, he or she is not perfect, but neither are you. It’s part of being human, so embrace your humanity today and make a positive difference in their life today.

Don’t bash your opponents today.

Today, for just one day, let those in politics, speak no ill of their opponents, don’t distort the truth, or take something the opposition party said out of context, and twist it to further your political agenda. I know we probably cannot expect politicians to speak anything good of their opponent as that would not be good for their campaign or votes. But, today, don’t attack and discredit your opponents’ characters, and make empty promises. Just shine your light for one day by embracing your humanity.

Befriend someone who is different from you.

Step out of your comfort zone, and make an effort to befriend some-one who is different from you, or some-one you don’t understand or misjudged. Try to walk in that person’s shoes by learning more about their culture, their struggles, their pains and their past, and see why they view the world differently. This could help reduce your prejudice or preconceived views.

Thank All people who serve you.

Say a big thank you to the people who keep our offices, homes and buildings clean. Go out of your way to help them, don’t throw your garbage on the ground, put it in the bin. If you don’t know the name of the cleaning lady or guy in your office or your apartment building, find out today and greet him by his or her name the next time you see them. Leave a big tip for your waitress today, about twenty percent of your bill. Compliment her smile or his energy, and if you enjoyed the food, tell them.

Lift Up the Down-Trodden.

Put a smile on the struggling single mother living in your block by telling her that you admire what a great job she is doing with her family. Go a step further, and buy an extra bag of groceries and give to her family.  For the lonely veteran who hangs around the deli, buy him breakfast, and spend an extra five minutes asking about his day. Remember to thank him for his service.

Use Social Media To Show YOur Appreciation.

Put up a message of appreciation to your loved ones, and make sure you tag them so the world could read about it and know how much their support and love means to you. Tweet about your appreciation. or post something to Facebook, or Instagram, or Pinterest, and let them know that you are grateful to them for being in your life. Instead of sharing the “gloom & doom, or the tasteless jokes, share an appreciation quote or picture. Let us make Social Media on July 29th 2016 be painted with pictures and words of praises and appreciation for our loved ones, and even the strangers that we meet today.

No Complaints or Criticisms Today.

Try to spend this day, not complaining about anyone or anything, and let us not criticize anyone. Did somebody do something for you, but it is not up to your standard, thank them for their effort? Your food does not taste the way you would like it to be, thank them for the presentation of the food. Let us try today to see the good only in each other.

Treat everyone with dignity.

I am a human just like you and when you embrace your humanity, please recognize and embrace mine too. Don’t discard my life because of the color of my skin, or distrust me because of how I look. Don’t assume the worst of me because I am different from you. Don’t feel superior to me because of my accent, or be scared of me because of the turban I wear on my head. Don’t hate or misjudge me because of what I have, or because I wear a blue uniform. When you embrace your humanity, you can accept and appreciate the uniqueness of others who are different from you. It is only then we can see that we are all created in God’s image and likeness. We all want to be loved and accepted, and to be treated equally, and with dignity.

Today, Americans, let us truly embrace our humanity by appreciating the wonderful people in our homes, our lives, our communities and our country! Share this with everyone: Your families, Your friends, Your Co-Workers, and put a smile on everybody’s face whom you meet today. Let us learn to embrace our humanity so that everyone feels loved, connected, and appreciated today.

Please tag us on Facebook, or Twitter, or Instagram when you embrace your humanity by doing one or more of the above. But you have to join or follow us to do so. Thank you for making this day filled with love and appreciation.

Let us embrace everybody’s Humanity!

AUTHOR: ROSSANA S MOHAMMED.

IMAGE OF HUMANITY PICTURE: COURTESY OF http://achhikhabre.com/

Hero Dads:We Appreciate All That They Do.

This Sunday, we celebrate Father’s day, the video above reminds us about the love of a Father. Below are  pictures with quotes to celebrate the great men in our lives. Happy Father’s Day to all the heroes in our lives.

IMG_2478A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart.

Author unknown

KIDSA father is a son’s first hero
and a daughter’s first love. 

Author unknown.

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Dad, You taught me that dreaming is important, but you also taught me
that nothing beats hard work,
and the determination and strength to keep at it.

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Any man can be a father, it really does take someone extra special to be a dad!

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Dad, your guiding hand on my wedding day,
and throughout my life
will remain
with me forever.

What Makes a Dad
God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle’s flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it … Dad
Author Unknown

 

Happy Father’s Day, and May God bless all those great fathers around the world. We thank you and appreciate your role in our lives.